What I did that night ...

One night, just over a year ago, I went out drinking with friends in town, less than a mile away from my house. I had been out and about during the day and ended up stopping in town on a whim, parking my car on the high street. Three hours and several pints later, I started for home. However, my walk took me past my parked car, so I had the stupidest brainwave of my life. That's right - I got in and started to drive home. I ended up in a hedge, spent the rest of the night in a cell and was banned for eighteen months.

The banning was not the worst punishment. Living with what I had done was. I was so lucky that I was the only person involved and that I didn't even hurt myself badly. The size of the crack in the windscreen where my head smashed into it told me that I should be in much worse state than I am.

So as well as getting this out, a word of advice: If you drink and drive and you're lucky, the only life you screw up will be your own.

The stupidest part of that night: I actually made it home once and got out of my car! But I got back in and went cruising around. That was the most costly idea I ever had. I lost my car (which I'm still paying for), my license and my job (delivery driver).

I've never told anyone (that knows me) that last part and I don't think I ever will. It's stupid enough to drink and drive, but to do it when you've already got home once - that's just tempting fate!!

23 - Male - United Kingdom

tired of people

I'm so tired of people. Every encounter recently has been fantastically judgmental, arrogant, stifled and, well, sad.

30-ish/F/US

Jack Bauer’s Cell Phone

What would Jack Bauer do without a cell phone?

And how can he talk on it and receive data at the same time?

And finally ... why does it never die? He spends most of the episode dialed up to CTU!

These are things I want to know.

22, Male, UK

CALL NOW! 1-800-confide-in-strangers

This will sound like some sort of joke, it's exactly how I've lived it. Like a bitter joke told by me that was on me. There's something I did to myself for many years that made the fragile connection I had with fellow humans, rot away. Some call it social desertion, a hermit existence, self-imposed solitary confinement, hiding in a little corner from the big bad world, being M.I.A.? In Japan, a very complex society, build as a pressure-ridden beehive, there's approx. over a million -overall male- youths doing the exact same thing, they are labeled as Hikikomori, the lost generation. If you research the subject you'll stumble upon the most severe cases and you'll get to know all about my 'best years'. My mom strongly believes I was bewitched by some evil women casting a spell on me to get back at her. Voodoo child or not, I know I am a product of overprotection, isolation and personal weakness. Which is a malevolent curse either way. I never considered myself a member of my generation. Not even as a child. Longterm detachment does that to you, it makes you feel like a human anachronism. In existence at the wrong place, at the wrong time amongst the wrong people. But this rant is not intended as a pity party. Things are changing for the better since a few years, very slowly and imperfect, just as life was intended. I remember the first times I left my dark little cave for a course on entrepreneurship, I wanted the cutest guy in the room, but when he actually started to flirt with me and look me straight in the eyes, my lips would start to tremble instead of producing words. I realized I had unlearned the slightest ability to even participate in a normal conversation. Things are better yet still very much fucked up. I can't give in to my old demons though, even if that's what I secretly want. Reign in my 4-walled comfort zone where the weather is always perfect and everything outside it is just background noise.

twenty-something/female/Antwerp, Belgium

1st Email

Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone thinks I'm nicer and sweeter or meaner and bitchier than I am. Why does everyone assume because I'm friendly and outgoing that I'm telling them everything? You don't know me. I'm still figuring me out and you sure as hell don't know me better than I know myself.

30, Female, USA

What Makes This Blog Different?

I'm sure you're thinking "isn't this the same as postsecret.com" or "secretregrets.com"? And I'm not gonna lie - they inspired me! They are two fantastic sites that help people vent, share and talk about things they may otherwise keep bottled up inside.

I got to thinking - when I want to blog about a pet peeve or send in my secret - it gets lost in the masses. I've sent comments & secrets to postsecret, but they've never been posted. I can't blame Frank (who runs the site) - it's a huge undertaking to get to all of them - the site has grown so large in the last 4 years.

This got me thinking. What if I had a site that just let people email me whatever was on their mind that they couldn't share with their friends, family or anyone?

The other day I went to blog a pet peeve and realized - no one cares! But I'll bet if I had a more public open forum to post it - I'd get more feedback - and probably feel better about my little peeve.

I've sent in three secrets to postsecret -- two by email and one actual card. I look and look - but have never seen it. Then it occurred to me -- I would have to keep up with the books, myspace, twitter, and the site with fingers crossed to see if my secret ever made it to the masses. I think part of the thrill of sharing the secrets is knowing you aren't alone.

What if it's as simple as just a BAD DAY? Things have been bleak for those around me what with the economy, jobloss, health problems and what-not. What good am I doing by adding to it with my rant about my bad day? And blogging it in my public blog is the same as telling them. A little vent to an anonymous crowd may be just the therapy I'm looking for.

More later ...
Nameless